The classical definition of love

Not long after my last post I continued reading further in The disciplined heart and was confronted with what is considered the classical Christian understanding of love, or to be more accurate, loves. Christians have traditionally drawn a distinction between three types of love: eros, philia and agape. Some of the more prominent champions of this view are Anders Nygren, Martin Luther and Søren Kierkegaard. They posit that eros and phileo are natural human loves, and therefore lesser loves than agape, which they believe is the word used for God's love of humanity. I found it interesting to read Simon's rendition of this classical view, especially just after reading a view that resonated with my own. So I thought I would interact with those views also.

The classical view understands what I have been defining as love as having characteristics of eros and philia. Eros is defined as passionate love (usually romantic love). It's central characteristic is desire, desire for the beloved. It sees in the beloved something it desires, and seeks to acquire that something for itself. In some ways it could be referred to as the souls attempt to transcend itself, to find completion in another. Eros is never used in the Bible, and thus never used to express God's love toward us, but some theologians believe it is apt to represent our reaching for God, as Augustine says "we are restless until we find our rest in him." As Eros can be understood as our reaching beyond ourselves for something to 'complete' us, it is typically seen as an egocentric love, a love that consumes, and is therefore unworthy of the love Christ commands us to have. It also makes sense, that if this is the definition of eros then it is not appropriate for God, who is complete in himself and thus does not desire anything from us.

Philia is typically understood as friendship love, the bond of two friends, and is characterised by affection. It is a love that sees the beloved as an equal and sticks by them so long as they continue to be perceived as equal. In contrast, the classical view implores that agape is higher than both eros and philia because agape loves in spite of what it sees. Agape alone can be called Christian because it alone can love the unlovely, the unlovable, regardless of whether any value can be perceived, and regardless of whether there is in fact any value at all in the beloved. Agape is characterised as a disinterested love, without motive, without regard for one's self, without necessarily having any affection or emotion, not as a response to the other, but as an initiating act, performing loving deeds for the good of the other, but not because of the other. It is a love that is done by choice, by will and because God commands it.

While this understanding of love(s) does have resonances with the Bible, I do not think it is without some problems too. If Agape is a love by choice and has no origin in the beloved, then to love a person is not to communicate anything to them about themselves, rather it communicates to them something about ourselves. Agape does not say "I accept you, you are precious," it can only say "I will do good to you." I think there are many Christians who will read that and say this is how it should be, because we are all sinful and thus should indeed not be accepted, but rather, by grace good should be done to us, not because we deserve it, but because of the nature of the one who does love us. And indeed this is why the classical view is the classical view. And yet, it does not resonate with me, neither am I convinced it is a necessary explanation, as if there are no other possibilities or models for understanding love.

Having said that, I am not very mature in my view, and find it hard to articulate, still hoping that a progressive scan image will become clearer and more defined with each passing.

If agape does not see value in the beloved, and indeed does not care, does it see the beloved at all? Is the love (however we must redefine its essence under this definition) really directed to the beloved, or is it like a wine which, as it is poured our of the bottle, forms its own glass (can't remember where I read that image). If agape creates value in the beloved, then is the object of agape actually the beloved, or is it that thing which it itself created, which is distinct from the so called beloved. Does it in fact say, "you have no value, so I will create something valuable and pour myself into that." ?

If agape does not see the other person, but acts on the choice of the lover, what governs the choice? Is it arbitrary? Will we love whom we will love, and hate whom we will hate? I see another resonance to one model of Christianity here, a model which, again, does not resonate with me!

If agape does not see the other person but loves in response to God's command, then what is the 'love'? The love itself must ultimately be defined by what it does, since it is merely the result of a decision. The decision is to act, and the deed becomes the love. But then why does Paul speak of being able to do love's work without actually having the love itself:

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^ but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 CORINTHIANS 13:3)

To me this indicates that the act is not the love, but that love can be the motive for the act. If love is the motive, then perhaps the classical definition is not quite right. Indeed we are commanded to love one another as Christ has loved us (perfect tense, not past tense). And indeed this would mean to love the unlovely, the sinful, the evil people. And what if we cannot see any 'value' in the beloved, are we unable to love them by my definition. Are they dead, needing a creative love to resurrect them? Or is it that we love them in faith that 'what you do to the least of these you are doing to me'? Or by faith that they are made in the image of God and therefore there IS absolutely value in there, we just need to be patient to see it.

And yet, if we can love by faith, without seeing that thing which evokes our love, then how can love be defined as the perception of that thing, from which all else flows?

This exploration is finding many challenges. Carol Simon sees the role of imagination as indispensable to love overcoming a fallen humanity in which perceiving the beloved's destiny can be an all but impossible task. Paul sees love as bound to faith and hope in a way that neither can be separated from the other. How can we love someone for whom we see no hope? How can we see hope if we have no faith? Why would we even care if we had no love?

But again, it all comes back to what actually is the love?